Working Through the Steps of Repentance
I am trying to become a better person every day. In business school, I learned how to do a self-review by pondering what I am doing well (the “plus”) and what I should change (the “delta”). In mathematics, the Greek symbol delta means “change,” or the movement of a variable. That change is often calculated as the difference of the value of that variable when it started and the value of that variable where it ended up.
When I think of what I need to change, I think of the values I live by now, and what I need to change, or what movement I need to make, to live up to God’s perfect values. I can use the process of repentance to make that change.
I’d like to share with you what repentance is and how to go through it. I’ll share several scriptures as well as quotes from religious leaders who have taught me about repentance.
What is repentance? What is sin?
First, what is repentance in basic terms? “Repentance means a turning of the heart and will to God, and a renunciation of sin” (“Repentance”, Bible Dictionary).
To repent of our sins, we must first understand what sin is. James in the New Testament defines sin for us, saying, “…to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin” (James 4:17). John in the New Testament said, “sin is the transgression of the law” (1 John 3:4), meaning the law of God. In his letter to the Romans, Paul said, “whatsoever is not of faith is sin” (Romans 14:23).
In Preach My Gospel, a handbook for religious missionaries, we learn, “Sin is disobedience to God’s commandments and results in being separated from God. God knows all that we do and think.” This makes sense if “the wages of sin is death” (Romans 6:23), because spiritual death is defined as separation from God.
Who sins?
In the third chapter of Romans, we read that “There is none righteous, no, not one… For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:10,12,23). That means you and I are sinners. Church-goers are not less sinful people. We are just as sinful as everyone else because by justice alone we would not be admitted into heaven: “For there is not a just man [or woman] upon the earth, that doeth good, and sinneth not” (Ecclesiastes 7:20). So, everyone sins—and we sin often.
While it is easy to physically see and haughtily judge someone for an action you can see from the outside, it’s very hard to tell from our nice exterior all of the sins—that we have committed and are committing—that are easily hid from public view.
What happens when we sin? What happens when we repent?
One result of sinning is the withdrawal of the Holy Ghost from your presence. “…when we undertake to cover our sins, … in any degree of unrighteousness, behold, the heavens withdraw themselves; the Spirit of the Lord is grieved” (Doctrine and Covenants, Chapter 121, verse 37).
We repent to gain an entirely changed view of ourselves—a better understanding that we are divine children of a Heavenly Father. In turn, we gain a changed perspective of the world we live in and of God and who He really is. Repentance should not only cleanse you but open your eyes to a truth about the universe you didn’t see before.
When I was living in South America, my mail was stolen. This happened often because the country I lived in had a lot of corruption in government offices, including the post office and law enforcement. I started to view the people around me as corrupt as well; I saw others as a threat. I saw God as uninterested. One day, as I peered into a torn package with half its contents missing, I heard someone at the door. It was a local woman who had come to deliver her own type of mail, little letters from herself and her children. They were lovely letters with cute stickers all over them, telling me how thankful she was that her life had changed since knowing the gospel, thanks to me, a person who had helped teach her. Suddenly I realized my sin in judging the people around me so harshly, the dark place I had gone to as a result, and how I was pulling away from the locals who really were good people. I worked things out with God and stopped the attitude. As a result, I saw the world—or the people around me—differently, in a new and loving light. I saw God differently and I saw myself differently too.
How can I overcome sin?
When Jesus had heard John the Baptist was cast into prison, he left Nazareth and came to Capernaum. While he was there, he preached, “Repent: for the kingdom of heaven is at hand” (Matthew 4:17). Then, in the next verse, we read that Jesus was walking by the sea of Galilee and told two brothers, Simon and Andrew, to follow him. They immediately left their nets and followed him. Jesus is telling us to leave our sins and follow him. How immediately are you and I doing that? The religious leader Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf has said, “The cleansing gift of repentance allows us to leave our sins behind” (Dieter F. Uchtdorf, “God Among Us”, 2021). So, as Isaiah says, “Let [us] return unto the Lord” (Isaiah 55:7).
What are the steps of repentance?
Russell M. Nelson, president of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, taught that repentance is a process, not an event. He says, “Repentance needs to be done one step at a time. Humble prayer will facilitate each essential step” (Russell M. Nelson, “Repentance and Conversion”, April 2007). So it is a process with a series of specific steps.
Here is my understanding of those steps.
Recognize the sin.
You have to realize what you are doing that is not right. This means you have to do a self-audit and identify what exactly is the sin.
Feel remorse.
Remorse is also known as “godly sorrow” (feeling the sorrow that God feels when He sees us make unwise choices). I can’t feel badly just because I was caught, or because it came to the point of a crippling problem. I need to feel badly now because I love God and want to keep His commandments. So this step is that you genuinely feel remorse for what you do.
Confess the sin.
King David of old once said, “I acknowledged my sin unto thee, and mine iniquity have I not hid. I said, I will confess my transgressions unto the Lord…” (Psalm 32:5). So, sin must be confessed to God and if it is a serious sin, confess it to authorized church leaders and to law enforcement if applicable.
Ask God for forgiveness.
Once I have confessed out loud the sin—it’s no longer hidden—I ask God for forgiveness. Asking God out loud can help with this process, rather than just praying silently. Hearing ourselves say the words helps us make changes.
Make restitution.
I should do all I can to correct the problems my actions caused. If you truly are sorry for what you have done, you will make up for whatever harm your sin has caused. This is called restitution. In some cases, you may not be able to make up for it totally. But you will do all in your power to make it right.
Never do that sin again, lose the desire to commit the sin, and follow God.
If I am truly repentant, I will not turn back to that sin. This is called “remission.” I have left that sin behind. Not only have I stopped the sin, I also lose the desire to do it. I am no longer tempted by it. I may have stopped that bad choice, but at first I might still fight the desire. Eventually, I don’t even think about it much anymore. I fill my mind with holy thoughts and fill my time with holy actions. I am too busy following Jesus to feel tempted. “Fulfilling the commandments bringeth remission of sins” (Book of Mormon, Moroni 8:25).
The religious leader Spencer J. Condie summarized a story from The Book of Mormon where an ancient king preached the gospel and his subjects were converted. “At the conclusion of King Benjamin’s inspired address, the people believed all of his words, and they experienced a mighty change of heart and had ‘no more disposition to do evil, but to do good continually’ (Book of Mormon, Mosiah 5:2). Perhaps of all the evidence of true conversion and a remission of sins, this is the most significant: the disposition to do evil no more, but to do good continually” (Spencer J. Condie, “A Disposition to Do Good Continually”, 2001).
Teach others about repentance.
Sharing truth with others is the final step of repentance. In the book Doctrine and Covenants (Chapter 62, verse 3), we read, “…ye are blessed, for the testimony which ye have borne is recorded in heaven for the angels to look upon; and they rejoice over you, and your sins are forgiven you.” I take these words to mean that the crowning finale to the repentance process is sharing the gospel of Jesus Christ.
Alma the Younger shares his story of repentance with others (art by Jerry Thompson)
Alma, a prophet whose history was written in The Book of Mormon, had persecuted the Christians in his city. Alma was named after his father, so some refer to him as Alma the Younger. An angel appeared to Alma the Younger and told him that what he was doing was wrong. When he had acknowledged his sin, he felt remorse, or in his words, he was “racked with torment, while I was harrowed up by the memory of my many sins.” He then remembered Jesus could save him, so he confessed to God and asked for forgiveness. His pain was substituted with joy. But it didn’t end there. The specific sin he committed was drawing people away from the gospel and persecuting them. So in restitution, he taught people the gospel and endured a lot of persecution in doing so. He stopped the sin and filled his time with serving God. He had no more desire to sin. And he shared his testimony after that—in his words, quote, “from that time even until now, I have labored without ceasing, that I might bring souls unto repentance; that I might bring them to taste of the exceeding joy of which I did taste” (Alma 36:24). If you would like to read the miraculous story of Alma the Younger’s conversion, which happened around 74 B.C., I recommend the illustrated version as well as the written account.
The blessings of repentance
I want to repeat the blessing of going through the repentance process. Our view of God, ourselves, and the world changes. Will you commit today to repent often enough going forward that these steps become natural for you?
